The flow of eros

Quantum Loop, colored pencil on paper by Daan Noppen

There is this deep need in me to share what I am experiencing, right in the moment. In the now, when I am feeling it most intensely and my being is indulged in it profoundly. Now has urgency, has truth and it matters. And the more I am transforming as a human, my true self is nudging me that what I am experiencing could be of essence to someone else.

I will be honest, this is something I will have to get used to. To write for you, to write for those that resonate. This is how I find myself, and intuitively know when something or someone matters to me, even if it just for that instance.

“But what I mean is this immediate sense, when a soul stands in front of you that moves in the same vibration.”

This deep need to share is tied to my equally deep yearning to connect to others who stand in this world in a similar way. I don’t mean I want to connect to someone who is like me, on the contrary, I’d rather exchange thoughts, feelings, even touch with someone who is rather the opposite. But what I mean is this immediate sense, when a soul stands in front of you that moves in the same vibration.

This small idea I just shared about vibration is maybe my closest explanation of how I experience eros. Eros is sexual, and it is far more than that. It is like a field that carries a certain intention. An intelligence of the soul that touches everything reality can hold.

I am currently experiencing a lot of transformation in my life. But I will share the complete story at another moment. But what partly enabled such a change in myself was letting go, of most of what I thought that defined me. And those things that I thought were truth. Much of this transformation currently lies in the healing of my relationships, especially my intimate relationships. And I want to pause here for a moment because transformation in general is not a very pleasant experience, on the contrary, it is mostly darknessof struggle and pain. I have come to know it as an ever-repeating cycle that always starts with the destruction of the old. The shattering and burning of my old identities, old beliefs, even careers and relationships. Things that no longer are true, that are no longer meaningful. There are so many paradoxes in there, if I may add. Writing it down like this almost suggests that it is clear and logical, but it is far from it. But even that deep darkness, the dark night of the soul as some call it, beholds eros. Everything I experience behold that energy, that being of life, that wants to manifest in my human being, your human being.